Steel Yourself....

Not exactly a first for a stand-up comedian, but Mark Steel – scourge of the the right and stalwart of Radio 4’s “The News Quiz” has launched a slightly funnier than the average rage-against-the-call-centre machine. He previewed it on the News Quiz itself (unfortunately no longer available on Listen Again) and then wrote it up in his Indie column last week.

It’s worth a read if you can take the pain of criticism because it’s quite a chuckle, but also because it does underline a truth that I don’t think we can articulate often enough – that the customer experience really does matter, and that what you say and how you say it while keeping a customer on hold is as important as what you say when you connect them to a live agent.

The pertinent passage is this:

So they were all sacked and replaced with the demonic call centre and hours of repetitive ambient trancey music, punctuated with a sinisterly smooth voice telling you they're doing ALL they can to answer your call, although the one method they never quite get round to trying is to pick up the sodding phone. Presumably when a phone rings they try blowing on it, sitting on it, spreading marmalade over it, then sit round gasping, "We've tried EVERYTHING and we STILL can't seem to answer it."

So if you have long queues (everybody does – it’s a fact of life sometimes with that confluence of absenteeism, unforcastable peaks and stingy Finance Directors that has yet to be defeated), think about the messaging. “Your call is important to us” makes me want to yell and, trying to sell me something while I’m in the queue is a big big no no.

So – a Friday thought – let’s get creative about our messaging (not too creative…) and liven up your customers’ queuing times - and their moods when they get through to your hard-working staff.

Have a great weekend.